Day 12

When I told Jake that I had never ... he seemed genuinely surprised. He said he didn't want to pressure me. I asked if we might just get used to each other first. He laughed. "Just sleep together? No touching or anything?" I blushed. "I'm just not ready to go 'all the way' yet. Is ... Is that OK?" He smiled at me, "I guess I will take what I can get."

Spending the night curled up next to Jake was so exhilarating. I liked listening to his rhythmic breathing and feeling his warm skin pressed against mine. His body was so different than mine. I eventually fell asleep myself.

I got up early and got dressed. I felt bad for leaving him but Momma had left me a message on my phone asking where I was and to please check in.

I guess she heard me come in. She hollered for me to come see her in the kitchen. She was finishing up with the morning dishes.

"Why didn't you answer your phone last night? I was worried sick! If you were going to spend the night at Violet's, you should've at least let me know."

She thought I was at Vi's?! I can't keep secrets from my Momma. I had to tell her about Jake!

So I confessed to everything. From the weekend with my friends, to skinny-dipping, and all about Jake and spending the night with him.

Momma was upset! "That is NOT how you were raised, Young Lady! What kind of example are you setting for your siblings?  for Marie? Despite the words you two have been having, she looks up to you. I expected better from you, Lacey."

I felt awful. I had never disappointed Momma so much before. "I'm sorry, Momma." I was on the verge of tears. She sighed. "I was young once, too. I understand your feelings about Jake. He IS a handsome devil." She chuckled. "Just promise me you will use protection. Young love can lead to a lot of responsibility. I had YOU right out of High School and it was not an easy life, Lacey. I can tell you that. Just promise me, OK?"

I understood she was worried about me. And the influence I would have on the others. She enveloped me in a big hug. "Now. Let's not say anything about this to your Daddy. He's liable to go after Jake with his gun if he found out you two spent the night together." My eyes got real big, "But Momma, Jake and I didn't ..." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. It's the impression you left that counts."

With that, Momma went back to the house work. I was about to go and change when I saw the morning paper on the counter. I started thinking about those paparazzi from last night. I opened the paper and there I was on page 5. "New Model On The Prowl!" What crap! I balled up the paper and stuck it in the recycling bin. 

I quickly threw on some clothes then sat down to a quick salad. I hated the dumb things! Vi asked me to tour the new gym with her today. Maybe I should get a membership there just so I could enjoy the occasional ice cream splurge!

 I helped Maddy with his homework. I was really going to miss this when I moved in with Vi. Speaking of which, the new wall paper should be in tomorrow. So after the photo shoots, I have two scheduled, I could finish my new room at Vi's. Then I can officially move in!

The tour at the gym went great. Vi and I even spent a little time in one of the classes they offered. I realize I am so out of shape!

I asked to stop by Bordelinski's before I dropped Vi off. She gave Jake and I some privacy while we said our goodnight.

I was in such a good mood after dropping Vi off. I blared the radio the whole way home.

I get home to find Marie sitting on the front porch. Had she been waiting up for me? I went and sat down next to her.

"I know you're leaving because of me, Lace." There was silence as I waited for her to continue. "I was so jealous when you were accepted by the modeling agency. And you actually placed in the first round of competition! Then you got invited into two other competitions. I hated you..."

She looked away. "You ... can't REALLY mean that?" I asked her. She turned back. "You had everything I always wanted. And all the attention was focused on you. I cheated on Bob with Justin just to make myself feel better. And you called me on it. I really felt like there was no room for me here."

I sighed. "I understand now, Marie. I never meant to hurt you, you know. This has been a learning experience for me too. But YOU need to understand that this is what I am doing. I can't change my life to make you happy. I want you to just be happy for me." I reached over and playfully tugged her hair. "I want to be sisters again." She chuckled.

 "Who knows, maybe B will pick you up when you turn 18 and we can model together?" She shook her head. "I'm starting to realize modeling is a lot of work. I've actually been reading a lot about being a Forensic Analyst. I've even got the grades for it." Then she smiled real big. 

"But maybe you could introduce me to a hot guy like Jake." I blushed. I hoped Marie didn't notice. "And what about Bob?" I asked. "You two ARE going to prom together, right?" She laughed, "Yea. I might even let him make out with me like I let Justin." I rolled my eyes. "Marie! Don't let Daddy hear you say that." We both laughed. "Are we better?" I asked her. She nodded her head.

We both stood up. I reached for her the same time she reached for me. I stood there hugging my little sister and thanking the Creator that we were no longer fighting.

Marie headed inside to go to bed. I was left with my thoughts.