Day 9

With my flight delayed and security, I didn't actually land in Riverview till 4am. (Driving had been easier!) Thankfully, Momma was at the airport to drive me home.

Everyone was sitting on the porch in their pajamas, waiting to welcome me home! Well, almost everyone.

It felt so great to be home again. But a part of me wished for the freedom I had experienced at that rental house. After all the hugs, Momma went to put on some coffee. Daddy left to get ready for work and the others started their before school routines. I figured it was the best time to scout out Marie and have a few words with her.

"Marie, I want to apologize for leaving without resolving anything. For not taking into consideration your feelings about my new modeling career. And I'm sorry for coming down so hard on you about Justin. I was just worried about you and I realize that it was none of my business. So ... please forgive me?" I could see a softening in her face.

Then her eyes squinted. "Oh, the mighty Queen has apologized so I'm suppose to bow-down and kiss her feet in gratitude? I have news for you. I DON'T WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU! You made fun of me and my fashion mags and hair parties. You scoffed at my dreams of modeling. Yet here you are, in your $500 boots and Simel brand clothing, asking me to forget all that and be your best friend?"

As I looked at Marie, I realized everything she had said was true. What was I suppose to do? Everyday she watched me leaving for another shoot, coming home with new clothes, or going to a Go-See, was another day filled with resentment towards me.

Before I could think of anything to say, she grabbed her backpack and stormed out. I watched as she got on the bus. I needed to think.

I tried to keep busyand there was always something that needed to be cleaned in our house. My thoughts began to run into one another. Moving out seemed like the thing to do but Momma was getting up in age and really needed my help. But Maddy was a child now and not so needy. I really loved being here in my childhood home with my family. Was I afraid to be on my own? What if I failed? I just couldn't bring myself to choose a path.

I felt like I was going crazy! I told Momma I was going for a quick drive and took Daddy's truck. I drove aimlessly for almost an hour. Then I saw the consignment shop and decided to stop in.

I browsed around, not really paying attention to what I was doing. I started to feel nauseous and realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. I was just about to head to the diner down the street when my phone rang.

It was Jake!! All my worries scattered when I heard his sexy accent coming through the phone.

"Hey, Gorgeous! I had a minute and wanted to call and say I was thinking about you. How has your day been?" Horrible. Miserable. Confusing. "Fine." There was a slight pause. "Huh. Well, just so you know, we are coming back to Riverview tomorrow. And you better get your rest because we have two long shoots planned for tomorrow." "Long? Wow." Why could I not think of anything intelligent to say? "So ... I guess I'll see ya later. Bye." "Bye."

By that evening, I had made up my mind. "Momma, Daddy? I'm moving out."

Momma seemed resigned like she had know all along what was going to happen. But Daddy got upset. I explained to him about Marie and how I really needed to focus and I couldn't do it here.

I begged him to try and understand. I also told him that I wasn't moving out on my own but actually moving in with Vi. She owned a two bedroom not far from Bordelinski's Studio.

He eventually caved when Momma told him he couldn't technically stop me. The fact that I would NEVER have dreamed of moving without their permission only proved to me that I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet.